Marriage Jokes

 

Many poor husbands were once rich bachelors.

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When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason for this.

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I told my wife that black underwear turns me on, so she didn't wash my underwear for a month.

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We're happily married. We wake up in the middle of the night and laugh at each other.

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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

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My parents have been married for 50 years. I asked my mother how they did it. She said, "You just close your eyes and pretend it's not happening."

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When you are married, sex is like going to Seve-Eleven. There's not as much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there.

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 We would have broken up exept for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.